I find that I like to think of a lot of stupid things... Very minor things to other people but to me means something... But anyway not important, not that I am in any position to expect any thing from people. I find myself very stupid... Always sms people and stupidly wait for sms replies from them which sometime never ever existed... So I must be very stupid... Emotionally stupid, too easily trusted people that I should not have placed trust so quickly... Disappointed and dejected is how I felt... Maybe I am just too emotional, sensitive or whatever... I don't really care now... Just too tired to think of anything... Everytime I get some hope for something but the next moment this hope just play me out and made me feel even more difficult... How I wish I can stop thinking.. how I wish I can do what friend did by making myself very tired everyday so that I can stop all thoughts and just go to sleep... I am really very tired... I shall no longer think about anything anymore... Disappointed with life... Disappointed with myself... I no longer has the ability to help others... now I am really lost and in need of help...

So humans are stupid... They always like to wait for things that will never exist... They always like to hope for things that will never happen... Are there really miracles in this world... I doubt so... I am too sagitarius like... I am too in need of care from friends... I find myself useless... Have been considering for some time if I should join the buddist society.. Heard that I can get all busy with and they have lots of things to make me occupied 24/7... Maybe that will solved all my problem... guess I have to depend on the very last thing that I never thought I will depend on.... God... please save me from my agony... I can't feel my heart anymore.. it is numb......

This will be my last emotional blog and I shall no longer talk about my feelings anymore...